I ain't missing you at all

Now, here's something I'm not so sure is an asexual thing and may just be more of an A-Sexy Mama thing, but: I don't miss people. In fact, my thesis for this entry is going to be that I'm pretty much an "out of sight, out of mind" kind of person.

I mean, I think about people I care about from time to time, and I have been known to recall people fondly. But when I am separated from family or friends by an ocean or a sizable chunk of land, I'm not one of those people who coos, "I miss you so much!" over the course of a heart-wrenching phone call. Come to think of it, I don't make heart-wrenching phone calls, either.

I have often wondered if this meant I was not capable of loving the people in my life as much as they love me. I'm not sure it's possible to measure the amount of love I have for my parents, say, versus the amount of love they have for me. I can tell you that the thought of losing either of them makes my blood run cold and has kept me up for more than one sleepless night pondering the possibilities. Yet if my father calls me his routine seventeen million times a day, just because he "misses the sound of [my] voice," I can't say I understand the sentiment. How about I just make you a mix tape of me, and you can listen to that any old time you like, huh, dad?

I have a friend who, when we're separated for over a week, will call to tell me how much she misses me. She says it like that: "I know I just saw you, but I just had to call you because I miss you so much!" Now, I love my friend dearly. I would give her the shirt off my back, the full contents of my bank account, the larger portion of my bed if she ever needed it. But I don't even think about eating as often as she claims to miss me, let alone missing food, and I need food to live. When I do think about her, it's along the lines of "yeah, that's my friend, and I love her," not "I must immediately communicate with her face to face, and if I can't, it's a tragedy! Woe!"

So what does this all mean? Is missing people a sign of sentimentality? Is not missing people a sign that I lack emotion? Is any of this because I'm an introvert? I am an ISTJ, but there's nothing in there about a lack of recurring warm fuzzy feelings towards loved ones. Really, all I need from them is a monthly update by e-mail. (You're fine? No diseases I should be worrying about? Great - we'll chat again next month sometime.)

And where will this leave me in my pursuit for a relationship? Seeing as I'm just as inclined to date someone who lives on another continent as I am to date someone who lives right down the block, you'd think this would make life easier. Hey, I'm the girlfriend you never have to see! Now with 100% less stereotypical feminine nagging! Now that's what I call low maintenance. We could date by e-mail, and just meet up for the wedding! It's so hassle-free.

Nobody ever really seems to go for the long-distance angle, though. I suppose I should feel like I'm missing out, but-- well, we all know how I am about that.