Adventures in Asexuality

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Friday, I'm in love

Okay, so it's not Friday. But I realize I haven't updated in far too long, and although I really have nothing new to report, I should probably give this a go.

(Wasn't that a great song by The Cure, by the way? I'm not really a Cure fan, but it really takes me back. To a time that was simpler, easier. To a time when I didn't have to pay rent, or work 8 hours a day. To a time when I had a curfew, and fought with my parents, and.... okay, so not everything was great back then.)

We started dating on a Friday, and it's been roughly ten months since then. Thankfully -- since Thanksgiving is upon us, I might as well throw a thought that way -- neither of us is sentimental enough to remember exact dates. Although I may joke that I'm the "girl" in this relationship, we're both pretty much more like your average guy. ("How long've we been together now?" "I dunno. A while, I guess.")

This is my longest-lasting relationship since I was in high school, but at my ripe old age, long-term relationships lead to thoughts of shared dwellings and eventual marriage, and not, you know, what one is going to do while one's significant other heads off to college in another state. It's a bit scary, being the hermit that I am and realizing that I wouldn't mind having my Better Half around on a more permanent basis.

It's scarier still, discovering with a shock that I kind of maybe sort of am experiencing the L word (no, not the entertaining, if somewhat melodramatic Showtime series). Putting myself out there to be potentially heart-broken makes me want to run for the hills normally, and normally I've ended things, or sabotaged them, long before they get to this point. But... blah blah, don't deserve her, blah blah, makes me want to be a better woman, blah blah.

....no, I'm fine. I just have something in my eye. No, really. Go away.

2 Comments:

  • Update please! How are thing working out now a few years later? Are you still together, or did you move on? Sending you love whatever your situation is! Thanks for your posts.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 28 July 2010 at 07:16  

  • My goodness, I can't believe anyone could find this blog after so long (I'm surprised I could still log in)!

    Alas, this relationship was not meant to be. I did move on, and am actually engaged to be married to a wonderful man.

    I've also had a lot of therapy in the interim and chipped away at many of the reasons behind my asexuality, so I'm not so much of an A-sexy Mama these days.

    **While I do not believe that asexuality is something that can or should be "cured," in my case there were some underlying issues at play, and when I started to work on them, I found that I was developing other feelings that opened me up in new ways.

    Thanks for the well-wishes!

    By Blogger asexymama, at 31 July 2010 at 11:45  

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